#11 - Round 8 - in The Quick & The Angry
“It’s time to finally let you out.”
“Don is ready.”
“Please put on your clothes first.”
“This is clothes.”
Inside the jail cell was a gentle, pudgy badger. Black stripes over his beady white eyes, and a pointy red cone of a nose. He was barely dressed, but that was normal for him. He had spiked bracelets tied around his neck, wrists, and ankles. The only other thing he wore were red briefs. Don Badge was into bondage, and it’s what he was wearing when he was sent to the Do-Gooders jail.
“Can you at least put on a shirt or something?” The guard went to go find a shirt for him, and returned with a small red t-shirt. He tossed it into Don’s cell.
“Don’s natural nipples. Will be censored.” His nasally voice struggled to say more than three words at a time, so Don kept it short. He’s had a lot of... issues in the past, and damaged his brain. After his brain trauma, Don started referring to himself as Don whenever he spoke. This wasn’t the phony, over-confident way you hear people using it. This was Don feeling separated from himself, as if his mind didn’t belong to the body it was in.
However! Don was behaved, and fit the shirt over his head. He was only a few feet tall, but the shirt was still tiny on him, and didn’t cover his fuzzy white belly. Despite the bulge in his briefs still poking out, the two left together, walking past an angry mouse-rat in one of the jail cells.
“HEY DON, HE FORCED YOU TO WEAR A SHIRT? HE CAN’T MAKE YOU DO THAT!” The fat purple rat yelled from his cell. Annoying as all the capital letters are, he literally talks in capital letters. So... sorry.
“BUT, AS PART OF OUR BEHAVIOR PROGRAM, THAT’S GOOD OF YOU TO COOPERATE WITH THEM. NICE JOB.” Anger Mouse, Don’s friend, had anger issues. Most of it was simply him being born that way. Unlike real animals, Anger Mouse was a plush doll. An angry face was sewn on him when he was born, and being tossed in the trash after he was made, life didn’t give him any reason to feel happy.
“Not you too...” sighed the guard, almost ready to let Anger Mouse out of his cell. “Let’s get some pants on you, buddy.”
“I DON’T WANT PANTS. THERE’S NOTHING EVEN DOWN THERE.” He was right. Another part about being a plush doll was that he didn’t have anything reproductive sewn onto him, he could be naked all he wanted to!
“Just put these shorts on for my comfort, okay?” the guard requested.
“ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR BODY?” Anger Mouse questioned, “WHAT’S WRONG, DO YOU LOOK WEIRD WHEN YOU’RE NAKED? SHOW ME WHAT IT IS, FRIEND, I CAN HELP. I CAN BE A GOOD HELPER.”
Clearly, this young mouse didn’t have a great sense of personal space. They were only sewn a few years ago, so they’re not incredibly developed. However, he slid on the black boxing shorts the guard found, and walked out of the jail cell.
“I HOPE YOU KNOW, THERE’S NO LAW AGAINST NUDITY.” This animal-based civilization was still figuring out that issue. The two walked down the hallway until they met with Don Badge.
“Are you two ready for a behaved day at Boxer Beats?” The guard asked in a bored tone.
“Don is ready.”
“YES SIR, I SURE AM.”
The guard nodded, “Good. We’ll see how this goes. As long as you two behave, you can keep coming back to the tournament.”
Don and Anger smiled at each other - or, well, Don smiled. Anger Mouse didn’t enjoy smiling. But they looked at each other, and isn’t that enough?
Boxer Beats had a unique situation going on, as far as jaily-stuff goes. The police, known here as the Do-Gooders, are the ones hosting the Boxer Beats tournament in the stadium beside their office. Oxnard Boulevard, the host of the competition, is actually the chief of police himself! When his friend Nishi told him about the boxing tournament, Oxnard offered to host the whole thing, took control, and turned it into a big, fun event that anyone could enjoy. It annoyed professional boxers, who were now protesting the competition, but being fun and inclusive was more important to Oxnard.
Aside from all that, Oxnard allowed officers to join the tournament themselves as a form of police training. He also let a few well-behaved prisoners join the competition with strict supervision. That included Don Badge, Anger Mouse, and Foxie Farewell. Today, Don and Anger were competing as a tag-team. And their name? The Quick & The Angry.
Don was quick, and Anger Mouse was... angry. It was a name that fit them perfectly. They definitely didn’t steal the name from anyone!
“Anger Mouse. Do you think. Don will see. Pretty fox lady?”
Don was talking about Foxie. He had a thing for foxes, but specifically Foxie.
“HOW THE HECK WOULD I KNOW?” Anger Mouse loudly, but calmly replied. “WE’LL FIND OUT WHEN WE GET THERE, BUT YOUR JOB IS TO FIGHT.”
Don corrected him, “Defend-fighting.”
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS,” Anger shouted back at him, confused. Don cared a lot about what Foxie saw him doing, and wouldn’t want her seeing him hurt anyone. He vowed to only use his spiky bondage gear to defend himself against anyone that would hurt him.
Anger Mouse and Don were walked into the stadium by their guards. Oxnard’s voice was soon heard over the speakers.
“Aaaand here they are, give it up for Don Mouse and Anger Badge. Their team name? The Quick & The Angry!” The crowd cheered for the pair as they walked up to the ring.
Their opponents were already in the boxing ring - a pair of twin tan dogs with floppy brown ears. The boy dog growled towards the mouse and badger, and Anger Mouse hissed back at him like a cat.
“WAIT!” Oxnard yelled over the speakers, “Is this match the one I think it is!?”
Bushy Beaver tried to sound professional, “You’re the one that told me to order all the peanut butter for it.”
“Oh my gosh, haha, I can’t believe we’re really doing it. They didn’t think it was offensive?” the fat hamster held his belly, chuckling to himself.
“Well gee, Oxshnard, I dunno. We haven’t completely shaid what kind of match thish ish.”
Oxnard leaned into the microphone. “You guys are fighting in peanut butter.”
The dogs simply frowned up at where his voice came from, and agreed not to get any of it in their mouths.
From the ceiling, multiple buckets poured peanut butter into the ring. Unfortunately, the dog brother was already in there. His tan fur blended right in with the peanut butter and he was getting trapped inside!
The big beaver ref chimed in, “Er, uh, y’all might wanna start the match, in case the pup feller doesn’t last too long! Heh heh... jus’ go!”
Anger Mouse dived right in, searching for the peanut butter-colored puppy. It looked really gross. But it smelled fantastic! “I GOT SOME IN MY MOUTH, BUT IT TASTES GOOD.” Anger screeched, popping his purple head out of the goop. Eventually, he bumped his face right between the thighs of the doggy stuck in the butter. “WHAT DID I BUMP INTO?” Anger lifted his head up from the sticky substance. Usually dogs are on the other end of the peanut butter treatment!
The bump in the butter made the dog brother stand up, “I’m here, I’m here!” He brushed himself off, but couldn’t stay standing in all the mess. The angry mouse-rat dug around in the peanut butter, and popped up to attack his opponent by surprise! Rodents were used to using tunnels, so it was second nature to Anger Mouse.
“You try it!” The brother tagged his twin sister, who hopped on in. Anger’s attacks weren’t working as well, since this girl knew what he was doing, and hit him whenever he jumped out of his peanut butter tunnels.
“YOU DO IT, AND DON’T MESS UP.” Anger tagged Don, who took his place in the ring. Don simply stood in the ring, waiting for the puppy sister to attack. She was slow so she wouldn’t slip, but when she tried to hit Don, he simply lifted his arm up to block her.
“OW! What was that!?” The doggy looked down, and saw Don’s spiky bondage bracelets. It’d be hard to hit him without her hurting herself. She tried to hit his soft, exposed tummy, but all he had to do was block with his spikes again.
“There’s gotta be a way around him that doesn’t hurt!” the puppy girl whined to herself. She tried hitting fast, or sneaking in slowly, but no matter what she tried, everyone was gradually less interested in what she was doing. Thankfully, she tired herself out, and her body flopped onto the peanut butter-covered floor. Don simply pushed the slippery dog away from him, outside the ring, and onto her brother. The two of them flopped onto the floor - a disgusting, but sweetly-scented mess.
“Cherry, get off of me!” the dog brother yelped as his sister fell on him.
“Serve that pup with a cherry on top - looks like the Doggy Duo are done for!” The crowd cheered after Oxnard belted out the results. “Better go lick each other clean,” he teased the two pups.
“Don’t joke about that, Oxshnard,” a worried Bushy Beaver warned him. “They’re dogsh. They’ll actshually do it. They’ll lick anywhere, and everywhere. Even on each other. Even if they’re related!”
“Oh. Oh no. I better go stop that. I’ll rush and do that right now. As a priority. Gee I sure wouldn’t find that strangely appealing. Here I go, Bushy. Watch. Watch me now as I stop those two dogs from licking each other.” Oxnard said in the dullest tone he could muster up. “Hey dogs...”
However, just as Oxnard finally got around to stopping them as soon as he really, really could, all that was left on the floor were two pairs of peanut butter & puppy paw prints leading to the nearest exit.
“Oops. Guess I couldn’t get in their way.” Oxnard looked Bushy Beaver dead in the eye, and snapped his fingers.
“Oxshnard, shomeone hash to think about the audienshe and modern day valuesh.”
“Bushy, someone has to think of the future and all the kinky and taboo things that will inevitably become accepted by society.”
“Ish your fashe ready to accshept my fisht?”
“No but your butt is.”
The audience couldn’t hear much more than scuffles and gasps over the microphones.
Meanwhile, down in the ring, Don Badge and Anger Mouse celebrated their victory, until it was interrupted, by an interruption.
A raspy old voice screeched across the stadium, “Anger Mouse!”
A much goofier, babier voice followed, sounding very upset. “Donald Badger!”
The duo looked towards the entrance to see two angry figures stepping up to the ring. It was Fuxie Nails and Nishi Gonzales.
“Oh. Oh no.” Don whispered, feeling himself fill with fear. These are the two that put Don and Anger in jail, and he knew they were mad, because...
“You stole our name! The Quick & The Angry belongs to us, what do you think you’re doing!?” Nishi stomped forward, staring right into Don’s pupil-less eyes.
Fuxie and Nishi made a name for themselves as The Quick & The Angry - a team for hire that could complete any task you were willing to pay for. A lot of their jobs weren’t on the legal side, but gosh darn it, it was a criminal name you could trust! When Fuxie and Nishi put the name to rest, Don and Anger started committing crimes using the famous Q&A name, dragging it through the mud. Doing this upset Nishi and Fuxie both, and landed the badger-mouse buddies in jail. But here they were again, stealin’ their name!
“You want our attention?” Fuxie whispered before growling up in Anger’s face, “You got it.” The audience was silent as they watched what felt like a very real confrontation take place. The two teams stared each other down, you could feel a mix of hate and history whispering in the wind between them.
Well it wasn’t wind, they’re indoors, but you know. It was there, like love in the air, except it was hate.
“Fox had scars. Months ago. Fox scars gone.” Don panted, looking over her body.
“All scars fade.” Fuxie squinted, sounding really cool.
The guards ordered Don and Anger to come with them - their time in the ring was over. The two groups scowled at each other as they split apart.
“Enjoy hanging out in jail you two~!” Nishi teased, giving a cheerful wave as they left. He looked towards Fuxie with a pout, “I can’t believe they took our cool team name...”
“Team Dino Pubes is a pretty funny name...” Fuxie mused.
“Less people would have laughed at me if we didn’t pick that one. And our cool name wouldn’t have been stolen either!” Nishi complained, folding his arms.
“You’re the one that picked it, kid.” She gave a toothy smile, delicately placing her paw on her chest, “I’m just the one that thought of it.”
Welp, she was right, but she wasn’t very nice about it. The two headed back as the grounds cleared for the next battle. The Quick & The Angry were destined to clash with each other again.