A way-too-big furry story that's sorta naughty and not even about boxing!

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Round 1: Pie Fight

<<First Newest>>
Round 1: Pie Fight
<<First Newest>>
“I’m ready to do this!” Foxie cheered herself on, waiting for her next fight to begin. “No, I’m not, I can’t.” She held her new Anomaly outfit in front of her - she really wanted to debut it today, but...
“Morning, folks! Time to wake up and smell the boxin’,” a sleepy hamster voice grumbled over the microphone. “Today we have a healthy helpin’ of fruit and foxes.”
Nikki the fruit suiter walked out on stage, now Foxie wanted to dress up! If Nikki did, she could too. Foxie quickly started getting dressed.
“And now that my assistant has printed a bunch of fruit jokes for me, I’m ready to announce this is gonna be a pie-throwing battle!” Once Foxie heard that announcement, she frowned and got back into her normal clothes. No way was she going to mess up her nice new fox suit on the first day.
“I’m your host, Ox, and in this next round of Box, Nikki here will fight a fox. Re-introducing Foxiiiiiiie!” As dully as Oxnard announced it, an uninspired Foxie trudged up on stage.
Nikki bowed to Foxie, and to match his grace, Aro Usal the hummingbird referee flew to the stage in a panic. “The pies are all missing!”
“Guess they’ll have to figure it out. No one wins if no one gets pied.” Oxnard burped over the microphone. Aro crossed his arms, that sounded like a pie-eater belch if he’d ever heard one!
“I got us covered.” Nikki used their wand to produce a table with a bunch of pies on it. Foxie half smiled - half because it meant the competition could continue, and half not because all the pies were on Nikki’s side of the ring.
“Um, are you going to be sharing those pies with me?” Foxie politely queried.
“Leave some for me too!” huffed the big-bellied hamster, “I’ll have more room soon.”
“Oh, I have plenty of pie for everyone. Eat up, apple-laughers!” The apple-dressed tanuki picked up her pies and began tossing them at Foxie.
“I guess you don’t need me to count and start the match for you... even though I’ve been practicing my numbers.” Aro sighed, “What’s the point of being a referee? No one needs me! They start the matches on their own, the winner’s always obvious.” The pouty ref was ready to take the tight shirt off his teal, feathery body and toss it on the ground. “Does anyone out there need me? Or care? I’m up on stage in front of millions of animals, but you guys make me feel invisible!”
Aro got a pie thrown at him, and the audience couldn’t help but laugh.
“You’re not invisible anymore, Aro!” Oxnard announced from above, “Your hilariously long beak sure got in the way of those pies. Come up here and let me lick the food off your face. Papa’s hungry.”
“I changed my mind!” Aro cried, “It’s really important that I stay here and watch the match!”
“I’m coming down there, Aro.”
“You better not!”
While the host and the referee had their own battle, Nikki tossed a bunch of pies Foxie’s way, but none of them hit.
“Wow, I’m really bad at this,” the tanuki sighed.
“Don’t feel bad! I took clown school for a bit - you have to know how to avoid pies just as much as you have to make them land on your face.” She caught one of Nikki’s pies in the air and gave an evil grin, “And you have to know how to throw them too...”
Nikki gulped - she was in trouble! She turned to her table, but she was out of pies. “Well, if I can’t throw pies at you...” The tiny tanuki lifted the table over her head, ready to throw.
“Hey, you can’t throw a table!” Foxie yelled, not wanting any of that.
“I mean, I can. But am I not allowed to?” Nikki really wanted to throw it.
“What do you think?”
“Well, personally, I believe that...” Nikki was ready to dance around the rules when suddenly a wet pie slapped against their belly. “NO!”
“Ha! Gotcha.” Foxie licked her fingers, victorious. “Now you’re covered in your own cream, how’s that for justice?”
Oxnard interrupted, “I practice that kinda justice every day!”
“Speaking of covered in cream under a table... I’m covered in cream under a table. Help me out!” Nikki whined, the table she was holding fell right on top of her!
“Let’s make sure you’re down for the count.” Foxie leaped in the air and slammed her body on the table. “Count it down, referee.”
“Three, two, one, two, three! You did it!”
Close enough. The audience cheered - Foxie won the fight!
“WAIT A MINUTE.” Oxnard grumbled, “...I didn’t read off my fruit jokes... the opportunity to say them is disa-pear-ing. And Nikki is in a real jam. She’s the apple of my pie and she’ll count as a real fruit when I fill her full of seeds~”
“Oxnard stop,” said whoever.
“Okay. Let’s lift up the table and see how that cream pie is lookin’.” Oxnard huffed, flexing his arms before pointing to the ref, “Go lift it up.”
Aro sighed, moving the table to see a very messy fruity tanuki underneath.
“She looks like applesauce. Is she gonna be okay?” Aro worried.
“Great question! Find out next time, on Boxer Beets.” Oxnard thought for a moment, “Eh, that’s not a fruit but I’m outta material. Later!”

After everyone cleaned up from the match, Foxie went to go talk to Nikki.
“Congr-apple-ations on winning the match, Foxie.” Nikki nodded politely.
“Orange you sad you lost?” the fox played along with her.
“Hey, I’m not a grape - I’m not gonna wine about it.”
“Okay can we stop.”
“Please. Do you need anything, or...?”
Foxie found a spot for the two to sit and talk, “I wanted to ask you something, about your fruit suit. Is it weird having everyone make such a fuss about it?”
Nikki shrugged, “Sometimes I forget I’m dressed like an apple. My friends barely mention it either. I kinda have more important things going on right now anyway. But it’s not a big deal, you get used to the jokes.”
Foxie shyly fiddled her paws, “Oh, that’s good! I actually... was thinking of dressing up in costume too. But I worry about what everyone will think.”
“Did I convert you?” Nikki laughed, “Do you wanna start bobbing for apples after seeing me on stage?”
“N-No!” Foxie blushed, “Actually, it’s not for a fruitsona... it’s for a foxsona... or well, another persona, or a character I have... I don’t know.”
“Sounds like you’re still figuring it out. I like to encourage people and support their harmless interests. You can figure out how to feel about it along the way. Don’t worry about what others think.”
Foxie appreciated Nikki’s help. “But, what if my girlfriend doesn’t like it?”
“Uh, heh. You probably have to ask your loved ones that stuff personally. You never know until you talk it out! But, don’t compromise who you are over a relationship. If they won’t let you do something like this, just imagine what else you can’t do around them.”
Foxie frowned, she was right. She’d have to talk to Lesbuni about it.
“But hey...” Nikki chuckled, “Can I see it?”
Foxie’s eyes lit up, she happily dressed up as Anomaly. She told a few jokes while dancing around, and Nikki started dancing too. The suave fox dipped the apple over the caramel dance floor below. “Aw Anomaly, you’re amazing! It’d be a shame if you weren’t allowed to exist.”
“Really?” Anomaly replied, “Well I love existing, sugarpop. I feel so happy and alive, I’m bursting with energy straight down to my apple core!”
Nikki felt like a steamed apple, Foxie played her Anomaly character really well!
“I better go take this off. Thanks for encouraging me, Nikki.” Anomaly smiled, releasing the fresh fruit from their arms.
“Anytime! And hey...” Nikki almost revealed too much about what she’d seen in previous resets. “I think you and Lesbuni will be okay. She’d do a lot to keep you.”
Anomaly waved, turning to head out, and saw Lesbuni waiting for her.
“Uh...” the fox gave a nervous grin, “hi.”
<<First Newest>>
Me or My Foxsona?

Updated 25th Apr 2021, 2:30 PM